In 2006, Nancy Meyer wrote and directed one
of the worst movies committed to celluloid, featuring good actors (apart from
Jude Law) giving the worst performances of their careers. I’m not going to pull
any punches: The Holiday is shit.
Yet it is a movie I have seen more times
than many others. I have only seen Taxi Driver once. I have only seen The Deer
Hunter once. I have only seen Dr. Strangelove once. I have seen The Holiday at
least once a year since it came out. Watching The Holiday has become my worst
Christmas tradition.
I know more about the innate shitness of
the Holiday than most people. I can count my knowledge of the The Holiday’s
crapness as one of the few things in which I have expertise. I could add it to
my CV. It would be my Master Mind special subject.
The Holiday is the theme of this blog post.
Because it is nearly Christmas, I have decided to offer up my minute-by-minute,
shit-bit-by-shit-bit breakdown of the entire of The Holiday, based on my 2014
viewing. Here goes…
0.00.04. Before we see anything on screen,
the saccharine music begins. It is not only actors in this movie who are having
a bad day. Hans Zimmer scored Gladiator, Inception and 12 Year a Slave, but he
also scored The Holiday; his insipid first choice of notes sets the tone.
0.00.26. The first thing we see is a screen kiss. An irritating screen kiss between two people from the 1990s. This is a
Nancy Meyers movie; it will always be the 1990s.
0.00.41. The camera pulls back to show that
the smooching couple aren’t in the movie we’re watching, but in a movie that
Jack Black is scoring. This is the first of many bits where the movie has a
clumsy fondle with dramatic irony; it is constantly cracking in-jokes as if
anyone cares. It is a conceited movie that thinks it is saying something about
the movie business. It is not.
0.01.03. Nancy Meyers loves an inconsistent
voiceover in her movies (see also What Women Want). The first thing we hear is
an earnest Kate Winslet: “I have found almost everything ever written about
love to be true.” Well, that's clearly bollocks.
0.01.23. Kate continues: “I suppose I think
about love more than anyone really should. I’m constantly amazed by its sheer
power to alter and define our lives.” This glib nonsense is there to establish
character, right? I’m meant to think that the Kate Winslett character is an
annoying twat? Please don’t tell me I should be rooting for this character!
0.01.40: Enter Cameron Diaz looking sad in
a car with Ed Burns. Cameron’s first appearance coincides with the main theme
music kicking in. It sounds like the soundtrack to someone running through
fields. This may be important later.
0.02.27. Enter Jude Law. God, I hate Jude
Law. He seems to be eye fucking someone.
0.03.19: Yes, Kate is a twat in this movie.
Kate is in love with Rufus Sewell and Rufus Sewell doesn’t love her back but
this hasn’t stopped her mooning over him for years. “New Years Eves bought in
by tears and valium,” she says, still in voiceover. Blimey.
0.03.40. The Rufus Sewell character is
called Jasper! He came first in his class in Cad Studies at the University of
Ruffians and Bounders. I’m rooting for him.
0.03.51. Kate has a brief conversation with
her friend at the office party. The friend doesn’t appear for the rest of the
movie, but that doesn’t seem to matter too much. Thankfully, their conversation
fills in some important backstory vis a vis. Jasper (my favourite character so
far). “Oh yes, I remember. And then you found out he (Jasper) was shagging that
drip from circulation,” the friend says. No one has used the term drip since
1989.
0.04.04. “He cheated on you but you stayed
friends” Kate’s friend tells her as if Kate has no idea. The ‘friend’ character
is coming to the end of its usefulness in its brief life.
0.04.11. Kate in tears. This won’t be the
last time, this movie.
0.05.04: “You know, I never realised how
pathetic you are,” the friend tells Kate. Wow. If even the exposition hates you
Kate, you’ve got no chance of winning me back round. The only way you’ll be
able to win me round now is my getting drunk, snogging the short beardy guy on
the dance floor and making photocopies of your arse.
0.06.00: Oh no, this isn’t any office
party: they’re all journos at the Telegraph. What horrible product placement.
0.06.32: Kate and “Jasper” have a
conversation. Although Jasper is clearly a scoundrel, Kate can’t help but
compliment him. “Your column today was fantastic,” she says. “God, l loved that
line: ''The onrushing stripping of dignity and thought from British lives.''
Great writing.” No, not great writing.
0.07.22: “You stinker,” says Jasper. Maybe
Kate has just farted.
0.07.32: She hasn’t farted. She has bought
Jasper a rare book for Christmas, “buried in that place in Covent Garden.”
Buried? Because Covent Garden is such an obscure, out-the-way place!
08.55: Kate in tears again. “Jasper” is
marrying someone else (the rotter).
0.09.12: She is still crying.
0.09.21: On the Southbank crying.
0.09.30: On the train crying.
0.09.44: Walking home crying.
0.10.04: Walking to her front door crying.
0.10.20: Kate gets back to her massive
fuck-off cottage in the Surrey countryside and breaks down sobbing, waking up
the entire neighbourhood.
0.10.28: Scene fades to black with Kate
still crying her eyes out.
0.10.30: Cut to California. Ed Burns is
defending himself about cheating from Cameron Diaz, who throws shoes at him.
0.11.59: I like Ed Burns. He was great in
Sideways of New York and Friends with Kids. I suspect that his character in The
Holiday is not going to be as rounded as some of the other characters he has
played. He seems to be doing little more than filling in the back-story for Cameron
Diaz.
0.13.21: The most interesting thing about
Diaz’s character is that she can’t cry. I wonder whether she may have learned
to cry by the time the movie has finished. No, that’s just crazy talk!
0.15.07: Diaz punches Ed right in the face.
Twice. THIS IS ONE OF THE ONLY GOOD PARTS OF THE MOVIE.
0.15.24: Look, it’s Kathryn Hahn in an
early role.
0.15.40: Diaz runs a movie advertising
company. She is editing a movie trailer in this scene which stars Lindsay Lohan
and James Franco. It is kind of embarrassing and another clumsy and unnecessary
in-joke. This is not a movie about movies like Maps to the Stars or The Player,
but it seems to think it is.
0.16.00. It’s John Krasinski, from the US
version of the Office!
0.16.49. Diaz goes on some misguided rant
to her employees about needing a holiday. She says she wants to read a “real
book”, “wants to eat real carbs without wanting to kill myself” and then goes
on about being stressed and then blown up by a terrorist and– I’m not sure, I tuned out. Diaz is your classic Nancy Meyers character
(see also Julia Roberts in I Love Trouble, Diane Keaton in Baby Boom, Helen
Hunt in What Women Want): a woman successful in her career, but entirely
neurotic and unable to form a lasting relationship. These characters always
find the answer to their ‘problem’ in an entirely uninteresting man! When oh
when will the trope of women being punished for their careers be eradicated
from movies!
0.17.56. Some product placement on how to
use the advance search features of Google. Advance search was a big deal in
2006. Most people didn’t know how to do it, so we needed the movies to show us
how.
0.18.11. This is the scene where Diaz tries
to make herself cry. To recap: we have one character who can’t cry and another
character who can’t stop crying. Crazy parallels!
0.19.00. Diaz tries to find a holiday let
in the Cotswolds. Underneath her search, cottages in Cotswolds, is cottages in
Coventry. Sending Diaz to Coventry would be a much better movie.
0.19.08. New search: under cottages in
Surrey is cottages in Sunderland. Again, I would love to see Diaz head over to
the north-east. She could get together with Jimmy Nail instead of Jude Law and
they could eat stottie cake together under a Whitley Bay sunset.
0.19.30. Cut back to Kate. She is still
crying her eyes out.
0.19.40. Kate owns a cat. What are the
chances!
0.20.09: Kate contemplates suicide, Sylvia
Plath-style. This could be interesting.
0.20.14. No dice.
0.20.59: Kate and Diaz start chatting over
some bespoke version of Instant Messenger.
0.21.39. Kate begins to describe herself to
Diaz. When she gets to ‘single’, she starts crying again. Pull yourself
together, Kate!
0.22.40. Is it really this easy to organise
a house swap? Wouldn’t you want to check reference, maybe get to know each
other a bit more? One of them could be an axe murderer! Let’s face it, Kate
probably is one, anyway. A crying axe murderer.
0.23.23. On the plane to LA, Kate starts
chatting with a attractive man, only to discover that he already has a
girlfriend. Kate is then joined by some old biddies. Ha ha!
0.24.40. Kate tears up again, writing a
heartfelt message to “Jasper” on a Blackberry that would look old fashioned to
your Nan.
0.25.00 Diaz’s on-flight reading matter includes
The Kite Runner, Atonement, Bob Dylan’s Chronicles, Team of Rivals, Runaway,
The Corrections and a shit load of self-help! More shortcuts in character
development, signifying nothing apart from, well, perhaps confusion.
0.25.58. If Kate is not crying in this
movie, then she is getting emotional in other ways. On the taxi ride out from
LAX to Diaz’s house, she sticks her head out of the window (like a dog), closes
her eyes and simpers like no other mortal has simpered before, but not since.
Believe me, Kate will simper again before the movie is out, and maybe even more
so.
0.28.47. Kate arrives at Diaz’s LA mansion
to be confronted with more consumer products than she has clapped eyes on in
her sheltered British life. We watch her gawk in wonder at white Ikea
furniture, a designer kitchen, a gigantic TV and DVD collection, an indoor
gymnasium and a massive fuck off swimming pool. Ah, consumerism! It’s not like
that back in Surrey.
0.29.35. It certainly isn’t. Diaz is having
a mare! You have to feel sorry for her, really. She definitely drew the short
straw staying in this recently renovated idyllic country crash pad, last seen
snapped up by some revolting London yuppies on Phil and Kirsty. The designer
bathroom is pretty small I suppose, as is the Laura Ashley wardrobe.
0.30.16. In another hilarious scene, Diaz
nearly gets cleared up by another car because she is driving on the wrong side
of the road. It’s funny because Britain and America are different.
0.30.40: Diaz isn’t able to drive in
Britain because it is so goddamn small! This movie is hilarious. An LA movie
executive? Driving a mini? Through the tiny British countryside? On the wrong
side of the road? It’ll never work! It’s funny because Britain and America are
different.
0.30.49. After a fun near death experience,
Diaz says she needs a drink. At this point, so do I!
0.31.08. Cut to Diaz boozing at a
mini-supermarket, buying up chocolate, tapas and more booze. “Someone’s having
a party tonight,” says the shop assistant: a rotund, west country-accented, Pam
Ferris-channelling, extra from Tess of the D'Urbervilles in Surrey.
0.32.30: All the truly worst parts of Nancy
Meyers movies involve cast members singing or dancing. The Holiday features
shit loads of both. Half an hour in and we hit the first bit involving Diaz and
the Killers. I’m lost for words really, just watch it.
0.34.04. Back in LA, Kate pulls out Punch
Drunk Love from the DVD collection but then gets bamboozled by the DVD player.
Because she is British, she has no clue how to operate such things. It’s funny
because Britain and America are different.
0.35.03. We first meet Jack Black for real,
simpering to Ennio Morricone in his sports car. There is zero chemistry between
him and Kate.
0.35.26. Jack get something from Kate’s eye
and he puts it down to the Santa Ana winds. “Legend has it, when the Santa Anas
blow all bets are off,” he says. “Anything can happen.” This is the worst
example of flirting I have ever seen. Maybe later he will remember that he and
Kate actually had zero chemistry and he will not try and bother her again.
Plus, he is already going out with that one from The Rules of Attraction, so
clearly batting way above his average anyway.
0.36.31: “Don’t blow away,” Jack says to
Kate as he leaves. I think the writers may be trying to set up some clumsy
imagery here. Maybe it is because Kate is really windy. After all, Jasper did
call her a stinker before.
0.36.49. Kate sees Eli Wallach (Calvera
from The Magnificent Seven) walking past her gate, thus introducing the
creepiest character in the entire movie.
0.37.09. “Anything can happen,” Kate says
wistfully to herself, like a complete loon. OK, we get it now.
0.37.37. Kate discovers the black-out
blinds in her bedroom and starts simpering again.
0.38.10. This is the scene where a drunk
Jude Law turns up at Diaz’s cottage. “Open the door,” he says, “or I swear I’m
going to take a leak.” This script was clearly written by an American because
no self-respecting English gentleman has ever uttered the phrase ‘take a leak.’
Not that Jude Law is a self-respecting English gentleman, mind.
0.40.58. THIS IS THE BEST BIT OF THE
HOLIDAY. Jude Law says: “I think there’s some brandy over there. Fancy a
glass.” I can’t really describe why I love this bit so much, but I have watched
it more times than most other movie scenes. Maybe it is the way Jude Law exaggerates
his point to the drinks cabinet. Maybe it is the casual toss of his hand on the
word ‘fancy.’ Maybe it is his ever-so-slight sneer, as if he is saying: “A
glass of brandy! What the fuck!” I have not been able to find a clip of this
brilliant moment from the career of Jude Law, but if you fast forward to just
before the three minute mark on this link, you will see the line dubbed into Spanish. For me, this is even funnier than the original and probably the best
thing I have found on the internet in 2014 or maybe ever.
0.42.43. The true horror of the first kiss
between Diaz and Jude Law has to be seen to be believed. Apparently I may be
alone in finding this scene completely cringy, judging by the amount of videos
there are on Youtube just of this bit. My favourite is called ‘cameron diez hotkisses’.
0.42.55. “Do you think you could… Would you
mind trying that again.” Oh God, I can’t watch.
0.43.17: “Weird, kissing a total stranger.”
Oh please get on with it. This is getting painful.
0.43.47. “Maybe if I closed by eyes.” Close
them. Do whatever. Fade to black. Fade to black.
0.43.46. Jude Law pushes back Diaz’s hair
in the creepiest way possible, before kissing her eye, them her other eye and
then her lips. Please, please, please make it stop.
0.44.17. “I’m thinking – we should have
sex.” Cut to the next day. Cut to the next day.
0.44.46. “You are definitely unexpected.”
At least cut to the post-coital cigarette, for the love of God.
0.45.37. “How do you feel about foreplay.”
I’m just glad I’m not watching this with my Mum.
0.45.48. “You are quickly becoming one of
the most interesting girls I have ever met,” says Jude Law. Well, thanks for
that, Jude Law.
0.46.03: “Look at you,” says Jude Law.
“You’re already better than you think.” Remember, this is a Nancy Meyers film.
Women can be successful, confident and independent; they can earn big bucks and
enjoy sex, but they must always have the approval of a man!
0.46.25. The next morning, Jude Law puts on
his glasses. It is another cracking bit of acting and must be seen to be
believed.
0.48.48. “Well, like l said,” says Jude
Law. “Most Interesting Girl Award.” Most patronizing bastard award, more like! I wish Kathryn Hahn was still in this movie. She was great in Afternoon Delight.
0.51.11. Another horrible part of the movie
also features dancing and involves Kate boogying (and I use that word after
some consideration) out of bed to Jet’s Are You Going to Be My Girl. If ever a
band is going to age a film indefinitely in the most mediocre way possible it
has to be Jet (see also Spiderman 2). As for Kate’s dancing, well I just feel
sorry for her kids.
0.54.01. Out for a drive around the area,
Kate finds Calvera lost on the street and takes him home.
0.54.44: “What part of England are you
from,” Calvera asks Kate. “Surrey,” says Kate, smugly.
0.55.10. “That was some meet cute” Calvera
says and then goes on to explain what a meet cute is. Again, the movie fondles
dramatic irony only to come out looking silly. Are we to think that the old man
is Kate’s hot love interest? And what about Jack Black? Kate certainly has more
chemistry with Calvera. Maybe she'll shack up with the creepy old bloke instead. This is a Nancy Meyers movie. God forbid a woman ends a movie without a man on her arm.
0.59.04. Kate ask Calvera out to dinner,
only to find herself in tears again after he has asked one to many questions
about why she is so alone!
0.59.23. This is the bit where Calvera explains women and solves all of Kate’s problems. “In the movies we have
leading ladies and we have the best friend,” he says. “You, l can tell, are a
leading lady. But for some reason, you're behaving like the best friend.” And
of course the movies mirror real life exactly because there are only two sorts
of women in the world, aren’t there? Good advice, dick!
0.59.37. Kate seems to have bought it.
“I've been going to a therapist for three years. And she's never explained
anything to me that well.” Sounds like you’ve been ripped off, mate.
1.01.17. Cut back to Diaz and Jude Law.
“From the moment I met you,” says Jude Law, “it has been a adventure.” Yeah, a
really boring adventure.
1.04.34. Jude Law and Diaz are now on a
date and start opening up to each other. Jude Law is a book editor, coming from
a family of book people. His Dad is a writer of historical fiction and his Mum
is “an important editor at Random House.” Diaz opens up about the company she
owns because “now that l know you were raised by such a strong working mom, l
can say it, and maybe you won't be intimidated.” Actually, Jude Law still is a
little intimidated. And why? Again, this is a Nancy Meyers movie. This mean
that female strength is demonstrated by their earning power but really they
just need the love of a good man.
1.04.50. Diaz explains a bit about her
past: “My parents broke up when l was 15. I'm an only child, and l… l didn't see it
coming. You know, we were really close. We used to call ourselves ''The Three
Musketeers.'' Jude Law smiles – perhaps this will become significant later on.
1.05.56. “I cry all the time… more than any
women you ever met.” Jude Law admits to be being prone to a good cry (this is
code for being sensitive, in case you weren’t sure) and as we know Diaz is
unable to cry. They must be the perfect match, right? This movie is so fucking
clever!
10.08.58. Jack Black turns up at Kate’s
house. Zero chemistry.
1.10.20. Jack may have to put his pulling
plans to one side however because Kate has turned Diaz’s LA mansion into a
nursing home. She is entertaining Calvera and a couple of other old blokes.
Calvera is talking about his late wife. “She had real gumption,” he says. “She
was the girl I always wrote.” I guess we’re meant to think that quite a sweet
thing to say. Wrong! It is quite creepy! I can only imagine what Calvera’s
marriage was like. I imagine him in his office, writing on typewriter Jack Nicolson-style, getting irate with his wife for not conforming to what he has
on the page. “Why can’t you be like the women in my head” Creepy bastard.
1.11.18. By the end of the night, Jack
Black has made a new friend: “Okay Norman, you are calling me for pinochle.” I
wasn’t sure of the reference to the card game and had to look it up. I thought
Jack had said pee-nuckle which, according to the Urban dictionary, is the
drunken act of trying not to urinate on your hand while trying to pee and keep
your balance.
1.11.28. Jack Black: “This was an amazing night." No it wasn’t.
1.12.37. Jack kind of asks Kate out, but
not quite. There is zero chemistry. After some awkward cheek kissing, he
finally leaves and it is blowing a gale outside. “Don’t blow away,” Kate says,
which is what Jack had said to Kate at the start of the movie. Didn’t I say
that this movie was so clever!
1.16.37. Back in England, it transpires
that Jude Law is actually a widower with two kids, which according to the laws
of insipid movies means that he has to be a nice guy after all.
1.17.38. Jude Law does Mr Napkin Head, in
which he puts a napkin on his head and his glasses over the top. This is the
other best bit of the movie and even includes an inexplicable anti-smoking
message, possibly to get past the US censors.
1.19.48. It turns out that Jude Law and his
two kids call themselves
The Three Musketeers, which is what Diaz and her
parents used to call themselves too. This is the sort of bond the marriages are
built on. If one of the family units had called themselves The Three Stooges,
it never would have worked.
1.21.07. “We never have grown ups here that
are girls,” says one of Jude Law’s daughters. In case we are in any doubt, Jude
Law is definitely a nice guy. This means that he has two kids, a good job, a
dead wife and that he never has sex – EVER! What about that girl he was eye
fucking at the start of the movie. I wish Ed Burns was still in this movie. He was great in Saving Private Ryan.
1.22.19. Small detail: there is a first
edition of John Irving’s The Hotel New Hampshire on his bookshelf. It is a
novel about incestuous siblings. Does this mean that he may be shagging Kate on
the side? Am I reading too much into it?
1.23.19: Jude Law explains his predicament
and why he kept the existence of his children secret from Diaz: “It's way too
complicated to be who l really am. I'm a full-time dad. I'm a working parent.
I'm a mother and a father. I'm a guy who reads parenting books and cookbooks
before l go to sleep. l spend my weekends buying tutus. I'm learning to sew.
I'm Mr. Napkin Head! I'm on some kind of constant overload and it helps to
compartmentalise my life.” This doesn’t convince me. I guess the real reason he
kept it secret is because Nancy Meyers wanted to keep the reveal until towards
the end of the movie.
1.23.56. “I'm a book editor from London.
You're a beautiful movie trailer-maker from L.A.” Do you think this was part of
the initial pitch? “OK guys, a book editor from London, England meets a
beautiful movie trailer-maker from LA. But get this: she’s on holiday. It’ll
never work, right? Guys? Guys, I’m talking here!”
1.25.37. Calvera has had Kate watching a
load of old movie to inspire her. “I love Irene Dunne,” she says. “Gumption!”
says Calvera. If only all women were all a bit more like women in the movies!
I’ll bet Calvera is constantly disappointed with real life.
1.27.09. A montage of Kate trying to get
Calvera into shape, where she nearly drowns him in a swimming pool.
1.30.40. One of the worst scenes in the
movie involves Kate and Jack in a video store, with Jack doing impressions of
famous movie scores, including Gone With the Wind, Chariots of Fire, The
Mission and Jaws. Driving Miss Daisy even gets a look in, but this is probably
another annoying in-joke because it was done by Hans Zimmer, who also scored
The Holiday. Jack Black calls him Hans, as if they’re colleagues. This scene is
so unfunny, Kate Winslet finds it hard to act.
1.32.34. It turns out that the one off The
Rules of Attraction has been cheating on Jack Black. “Why do I always fall for
the bad girl?” Dude, seriously. You were the only one not to see this coming.
She has probably gone off to get flower fucked by Josh Hartnett or something.
1.33.33. Kate consoles Jack. She can only
just about bear to put a hand on his shoulder, in support. Zero chemistry.
1.34.50. Kate opens up to Jack Black about
her doomed affair with Jasper and how the emotional pain “can actually ache in
places you didn’t know you had inside you.” By this point of the movie, I know
exactly what she means.
1.35.08. Oh god, Kate’s off on one again.
1.35.30. She’s probably going to start
crying again.
1.35.39. “And little pieces of your soul
will finally come back.” She’s completely lost it now!
1.39.16. He has also written a tune for
Kate, using “only the good notes.” It is bland, insipid and cringe-worthy, so
probably a fitting tribute. Kate simpers.
1.39.53. And now they’re both singing. Kate
is clearly tone deaf.
1.42.20. Jude Law: “You’re seriously the
most depressing girl I have ever met.” Stop calling her a girl! And do Mr Napkin-Head again.
1.43.17. Jude Law: “My package, perhaps, in
the light of day is not all that wonderful.” OK, I’m a child, but this is the
funniest line in the whole movie.
1.44.58. Kate meets Jack in a restaurant
and tells him that Calvera still had her on a strict diet of all movies. “Every
movie he has told me to see has this powerhouse woman in it,” Kate says.
“Perhaps he’s trying to tell you something,” says Jack. I know exactly what he
is trying to tell her! He’s trying to get Kate to behave like one of his
characters again. She has some all the way over from the UK, only to spend her
time watching old films. She could have stayed in Surrey for that, plus she
wouldn’t have had Jack Black sex pesting around her.
1.47.00. Kate is left in the restaurant
alone. Looks like she might start crying again.
1.52.30. This is the scene where dastardly
Jasper gate crashes Kate’s lovely holiday in search of a saucy post-Christmas
weekend in LA even though he is still getting married and Kate finally tells him to bugger off. “I’ve got my life to start living,” she says, but given we
are still in a Nancy Meyers movie this doesn’t mean that she can move on
man-free. Oh no, she still has to have a man. Calvera or Jack
Black; it has to be one of them!
1.53.08. The first thing that Kate does in
her new lease of life is take an old bloke to an awards ceremony. It’s hardly
Thelma and Louise!
1.54.04. Kate takes Calvera’s creepy
corsage. She likes it. “I like corny,” she says. “I’m looking for corny in my
life.” “That’s a nice line,” Calvera says. “It’s all those movies,” she says.
The brainwashing is complete. Ugh! It is like he is writing her! Calvera is
like some strange puppeteer, collecting young people whom he can train into
becoming relics of a Hollywood screwball comedy past. Later, Kate will be
committed after being plagued by the delusion that she is living in His Girl
Friday.
1.57.31. Kate and Jack Black meet at the
awards chemistry and share a chaste, passionless kiss. Kate simpers beyond
belief and Jack pumps his fist, like an eight year old who has just won a bet
with a friend on whose fart smells the worst.
2.00.00. Two hours! Christ, this is a long
film! Diaz hasn’t even cried yet.
2.00.12. Oh, there she goes. I didn’t see
that coming.
2.01.13. Remember that triumphant music at
the start that sounded like someone running through fields. Well, Diaz is now
running through fields back to find Jude Law. It must be love.
2.02.05. After nearly a full minute of
triumphant running through fields, Diaz gets back to Kate’s house to find Jude
Law crying his eyes out. He said he was a weeper, didn’t he!
2.03.12. We suddenly cut to a party at Jude
Law’s house where all the characters (apart from Calvera) get together for a
New Years Eve party. I hope they don’t start dancing.
2.03.36. Ooooh shit. Kate has just boogied
into the living room. Stop boogying about!
2.03.47. Aaagh. Jude Law and Diaz have also
boogied into the living room. Guys, you look like real dicks.
2.04.14. And they’re all dancing. It's horrible. In better hands, there is something Shakespearian in bringing the full cast together for
a dance at the end of the movie. This is not that movie. Thanks God it’s over,
though I know I’ll be back for another viewing next year.
You should probably know that I have been
questioning myself while writing this blog post. How the hell have I got to
nearly 5000 words, just on The Holiday. Well, at least I’m not the guy who has
edited a Youtube video of the ‘best bits’ of The Holiday, backed by a song from
a band called Lifehouse! What a knob!
